What if the grass was also green on the other side? Well you won’t know unless you have a look.
05:14
I suffer
from a serious condition of I Want More.
Not that I am not satisfied, generally speaking, but what if I was walking past something? I almost have it all, I have reached my current goals, so … give me another challenge! A few years back when I was out on the road, I was living many people’s dream – no attachments, no debt, just a bag and a new destination every other night for 6 years. I had tried the 9-5 routine with a small city flat and regular salary, comfortable relationship, and decided to try something else. And believe me, it was not easy. I have never admitted this to anyone, but that first night on my own in Cairo, this Joburg bred French girl burst into tears in her hotel room wishing she’d never left her comfort zone. This wasn’t really me… was it? Surely all I wanted was the white picket fence dream? Did I always need to prove to myself and the world that I was this daredevil adventure seeking hardcore chick that didn’t fit in? But a week into my first adventure, I’d done it. I could do it. Traveling alone, braving the world, still with a jittery stomach and shaking knees I knew I had ticked that box. And kept ticking the countries off the map like an addict. Until it dawned on me that this familiar feeling of This Is No Longer Enough had returned and meant business this time around. Well this life was becoming a bit lonely… I longed to just water my plants and cook homemade meals for someone. Around me, most of my friends were settling down, starting families and I secretly envied the comfort and safety of their routine.
And so it
is that six years down the line, plants watered, good wine, great food and a
table of cackling young goslings, I find myself ready for my next 180 degree
life change – with 2 small girls in tow
of course, which makes matters a little harder. The good old advice of “go for
it, you’re young and free!” has turned into “Just remember the grass is always
greener blablabla” and “be grateful for what you have” etc. etc. …
Believe me. Not
only am I grateful for what I have but I’m also pretty damn proud of what I have
worked so hard to achieve. And more I shall achieve yet.
But still.
I. Want.
More.
Actually,
is there anything wrong with wanting more? Life seems to be flashing past at
greater speeds each year as I run from one school pick up to another meeting, and
the days are looking more alike as I look back on the last few years. Settling
for something totally fabulous is …great… but there are many fabulous things
going on out there and I have so little time to sample them all! Change is good
people! It keeps you feeling alive and bubbly. Change does not have to be
reckless and dangerous. Especially now. I am responsible for little XXIst century superwomen
in the making and I am determined to show them the world, to let them grow up
free and out of the box – but never wanting for anything – a tall task. Therefore,
my days of packing a bag and tossing the key to yesterday may be over in their
recklessness – but they are still possible. It just requires more planning and
risk management.
Here is a cliché:
“Life is a journey, enjoy the ride” well it is. It’s up to you to make it
happen, out with the boring, in with the exciting! The first step is the only
scary one, then it just happens. And it’s that first step that I am getting
ready to take.
Now all I
need to decide it which way are we jumping?
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2 commentaires
really enjoyed this :) and would love to know what you are jumping into :) hope you find something that makes your heart soar
RépondreSupprimerThanks Amalia! I am working on a few projects but still want to keep Mathilde & Co growing as it is, and keep the girls education as a top priority... so that takes a lot of planning...!
Supprimer